Bad Monkey eBook µ Audio CD

Bad Monkey[EPUB] ✼ Bad Monkey Author Carl Hiaasen – Varanus.us Andrew Yancy late of the Miami Police and soon to be late of the Monroe County sheriff s office has a human arm in his freezer There s a logical Hiaasenian explanation for that, but not for how and wh Andrew Yancy late of the Miami Police and soon to be late of the Monroe County sheriff s office has a human arm in his freezer There s a logical Hiaasenian explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its shadowy owner Yancy thinks the boating accident shark luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig it s not called the roach patrol for nothing But first this being Hiaasen country Yancy must negotiate an obstacle course of wildly unpredictable events with a crew of even wildly unpredictable characters, including his just ex lover, a hot blooded fugitive from Kansas the twitchy widow of the frozen arm two avariciously optimistic real estate speculators the Bahamian voodoo witch known as the Dragon Queen, whose suitors are blinded unto death by her peculiar charms Yancy s new true love, a kinky coroner and the eponymous Bad Monkey, who with hilarious aplomb earns his place among Carl Hiaasen s greatest characters Here is Hiaasen doing what he does better than anyone else spinning a tale at once fiercely pointed and wickedly funny in which the greedy, the corrupt, and the degraders of what s left of pristine Florida now, of the Bahamas as well get their comeuppance in mordantly ingenious, diabolically entertaining fashion From the Hardcover edition.

Bad Monkey eBook µ Audio CD
    Have Kindle books and why it parted from its shadowy owner Yancy thinks the boating accident shark luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig it s not called the roach patrol for nothing But first this being Hiaasen country Yancy must negotiate an obstacle course of wildly unpredictable events with a crew of even wildly unpredictable characters, including his just ex lover, a hot blooded fugitive from Kansas the twitchy widow of the frozen arm two avariciously optimistic real estate speculators the Bahamian voodoo witch known as the Dragon Queen, whose suitors are blinded unto death by her peculiar charms Yancy s new true love, a kinky coroner and the eponymous Bad Monkey, who with hilarious aplomb earns his place among Carl Hiaasen s greatest characters Here is Hiaasen doing what he does better than anyone else spinning a tale at once fiercely pointed and wickedly funny in which the greedy, the corrupt, and the degraders of what s left of pristine Florida now, of the Bahamas as well get their comeuppance in mordantly ingenious, diabolically entertaining fashion From the Hardcover edition."/>
  • Audio CD
  • 12 pages
  • Bad Monkey
  • Carl Hiaasen
  • English
  • 01 August 2017
  • 0739385143

    10 thoughts on “Bad Monkey eBook µ Audio CD

    Have Kindle books and why it parted from its shadowy owner Yancy thinks the boating accident shark luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig it s not called the roach patrol for nothing But first this being Hiaasen country Yancy must negotiate an obstacle course of wildly unpredictable events with a crew of even wildly unpredictable characters, including his just ex lover, a hot blooded fugitive from Kansas the twitchy widow of the frozen arm two avariciously optimistic real estate speculators the Bahamian voodoo witch known as the Dragon Queen, whose suitors are blinded unto death by her peculiar charms Yancy s new true love, a kinky coroner and the eponymous Bad Monkey, who with hilarious aplomb earns his place among Carl Hiaasen s greatest characters Here is Hiaasen doing what he does better than anyone else spinning a tale at once fiercely pointed and wickedly funny in which the greedy, the corrupt, and the degraders of what s left of pristine Florida now, of the Bahamas as well get their comeuppance in mordantly ingenious, diabolically entertaining fashion From the Hardcover edition."/>
  1. says:

    Reading a Carl Hiaasen novel is a lot like watching a master pool player put nine balls into a rack, then casually chalk his cue When he s ready, he lines up his shot and then expertly smacks that little white cue ball into the other nine You never know which balls are going to go where, and guessing isn t going to help What you want to do is just sit back and watch the master run the board Bad Monkey is Carl Hiaasen at his best The satire flows in every paragraph, the word choices and es Reading a Carl Hiaasen novel is a lot like watching a master pool player put nine balls into a rack, then casually chalk his cue When he s ready, he lines up his shot and then expertly smacks that little white cue ball into the other nine You never know which balls are going to go where, and guessing isn t going to help What you want to do is just sit back and watch the master run the board Bad Monkey is Carl Hiaasen at his best The satire flows in every paragraph, the word choices and especially the adjectives convey Hiaasen s justifiable contempt for a large swath of humanity Like me, Hiaasen is a native Floridian and, also like me, he is appalled by what greed and empty minded boosterism has done to the state When Hiaasen sits down to write, you can be reasonably certain that there are crooked politicians and avaricious developers among the cast of characters There is also frequently a hurricane Readers of this book will not be disappointed on any of those counts.That pool rack of humanity in Bad Monkey includes an honest cop who was fired from the Miami PD for being honest, a Bahamian voodoo queen, a fugitive former school teacher from Kansas who is not quite firing on all cylinders, a coroner with a taste for sex in unusual places, a Bahamas man whose home has been sold out from underneath him, a widow who has to conjure up thoughts of her squashed turtle to generate tears for her recently deceased husband, and a capuchin monkey named Driggs who may or may not have had a cameo appearance in Pirates of the Caribbean.The cue ball that Hiassen drives into this group is the discovery of a human arm, hauled in by a couple from Wisconsin honeymooning in the Florida Keys Had the arm been landed in Miami, it would have been tossed in with the hundreds of other limbs that accumulate annually from drug deals gone bad or other illegal misadventures And so as not to tarnish the Keys reputation as a wholesome family destination, Andrew Yancey of the Monroe County sheriff s department and late of the Miami PD is tasked with foisting the arm on Miami s law enforcement establishment Thus begins a wonderful tale of good intentions and not so good ones gone horribly awry There are no saints in this story Hiaasen has no use for them Yancey has been busted from the Monroe County force for wielding a powerful hand vacuum as an extremely dangerous weapon His punishment is to become a restaurant inspector, and Hiaasen s description of what Yancey finds in the course of his new job may put readers off dining out for an extended period.Part of the pleasure of reading Hiaasen is learning about things Bad Monkey provides a tutorial on Medicare fraud, ocean flycasting, the Dead Sailfish Scam, and the inner workings of the simian mind, among other tidbits of knowledge.The fun is in watching these individual story threads develop and play themselves out As a reader, you know they re going to merge you just don t know how, when, or with what result Neal Sanders is the author of six fun mysteries You can read reviews of them here on Goodreads or .com, and read first chapters at www.TheHardingtonPress.com


  2. says:

    If I ever visit Key West, I ll smuggle aboard enough food rations to last me twice as long as my planned stay, refrain from eating at any restaurant within a sixty mile radius, catch my own fish from my hotel balcony, and cook them from my own grill on said balcony, setting off all smoke detectors in a three room radius To that end, I ll probably increase my life expectancy by six years, and I won t go to sleep with cockroach filled nightmares.If writing zany characters were an occupation unto If I ever visit Key West, I ll smuggle aboard enough food rations to last me twice as long as my planned stay, refrain from eating at any restaurant within a sixty mile radius, catch my own fish from my hotel balcony, and cook them from my own grill on said balcony, setting off all smoke detectors in a three room radius To that end, I ll probably increase my life expectancy by six years, and I won t go to sleep with cockroach filled nightmares.If writing zany characters were an occupation unto itself, Carl Hiaasen would have fit the requirements long ago and placed himself firmly within its trenches This go round we are treated to a hairless capuchin monkey that was fired from Pirates Of The Caribbean and who developed an unhealthy attachment to Johnny Depp, hurls his own feces, and is addicted to Dunhill tobacco He also subsists on conch fritters and other fried foods, most of which have his cholesterol levels shooting through the roof and have aided in his current hairless ailment a daughter who sees dollar signs and would sell her soul to the devil himself for a million dollars instead of grieving over her deceased pa a child sex offender named Plover Chase who exchanged grades in AP English for bedroom antics of athan questionable nature a Dragon Queen who likes to fornicate on a Rollie scooter an assistant medical examiner who likes to have sex on her operating table amid sixty or so stiffs and in the middle of a hurricane one sodomized surgeon and a restaurant inspector who counts cockroaches with a homemade roach vacuuming concoction.There s enough satire and madness and mayhem to satisfy the attention span of a gnat with a Medicare scam large enough to interest the FBI, one spec house up in flames faster than a blowtorch applied to rice paper, questionable corpses, scorned ex lovers, dubious alliances, and the ever lingering environmental issues found in many of his tales You know, your typical Carl Hiaasen novel.While I can only speculate on his writing methods, it wouldn t surprise me to learn he sits at his desk chair in a straitjacket pecking at his keyboard with the tip of his nose or dictating his stories into a voice recorder to be later typed by his secretary And he does it all with a large grin and swag smile, inching up the chaos with each turn of the page Because that s exactly what happens here.While BAD MONKEY certainly held my attention and hadthan its share of laugh out loud moments, I couldn t help but compare this novel to his earlier work, and I felt like he came up a little short But on the bright side, there sthan enough fuckwads and shitweasels to occupy an entire wing at an insane asylum And in the end, that was enough for me to like this tale.Cross posted at Robert s Reads


  3. says:

    There s a lot going on in this novel Some funny, some tragic and some puzzling As a fan of Carl Hiaasen, this is not one of his better works as he is unable to cleanly put this jumbled hodgepodge together in a rewarding way 4 of 10 stars


  4. says:

    This was actually my first foray into the works of Carl Hiaasen gasp I know, it s hard to believe I can t say I wasn t forewarned that Bad Monkey might not make a great first impression for Carl beloved by many whose opinions I hold in high regard But, I ve been known to disregard good advice before, so I forged onward Have you ever been to Florida It s a criminal population It s America s Australia Jack DonaghyThis is just one of the many facts about life I lear This was actually my first foray into the works of Carl Hiaasen gasp I know, it s hard to believe I can t say I wasn t forewarned that Bad Monkey might not make a great first impression for Carl beloved by many whose opinions I hold in high regard But, I ve been known to disregard good advice before, so I forged onward Have you ever been to Florida It s a criminal population It s America s Australia Jack DonaghyThis is just one of the many facts about life I learned from Jack Donaghy 30 Rock and, seriously, in case you don t follow the exploits of the faux superhero, Florida Man , it s kind of true And, in many ways, this book is just one long series of Florida Man tropes, made extra special for us literary folk by their being located in Key West Our protagonist, Andrew Yancy , is a former cop, demoted to the position of food health inspector, and trying to get back in good standing by hunting down the murderous source of an arm reeled in by tourists on a fishing charter There are cheating wives of the money grubbing type on the lookout for new paramours and good plastic surgeons, sleazy real estate developers, voodoo queens, and, of course, the titular Bad Monkey, Driggs who may or may not have played opposite Johnny Depp in those pirate movies It was funny at times, but I just couldn t latch on to the characters for better or for worse I m not writing off Hiaasen as mentioned, I was forewarned, and if GR did half stars I d give it a 2.5 , but it felt like a parody that was drawn out just a bit too long So, I guess I ll leave you with one parting 30 Rock jab enter Jack, dialing the Everglade State s 9 1 1 Thank you for calling Florida s emergency services If this is regarding an anaconda in a crawl space, press 1 If a sinkhole full of Indian bones has appeared in your living room, press 2 If you want to know why JAG wasn t on this week, press 3 ______________________________________ Yes, I am aware that I have used a double negative it was intentional, and I will sacrifice a lamb, or vegan shoes or whatever to the grammar gods as needed His adventures consist entirely of the sur real headlines that come out of the Sunshine State e.g Florida man arrested for throwing dog poop at pregnant girlfriend 1 Florida man attempts to pay water bill with crack cocaine 2 Florida man stabs brother after macaroni and cheese goes missing 3


  5. says:

    When I was about thirteen, I picked LUCKY YOU off the library shelves I liked the bright colors and kicky title, no other reason than that I ve been a fan of Carl Hiaasen ever since I ve even converted other fans, most notably my mother who wanted me to read my copy of BAD MONKEY faster so that she could read it.BAD MONKEY takes Hiaasen slightly out of his wheelhouse without removing his most noticeable touches It takes place in South Florida, of course, but also moves to the Bahamas for a m When I was about thirteen, I picked LUCKY YOU off the library shelves I liked the bright colors and kicky title, no other reason than that I ve been a fan of Carl Hiaasen ever since I ve even converted other fans, most notably my mother who wanted me to read my copy of BAD MONKEY faster so that she could read it.BAD MONKEY takes Hiaasen slightly out of his wheelhouse without removing his most noticeable touches It takes place in South Florida, of course, but also moves to the Bahamas for a memorable storm None of his reoccurring characters make an appearance, but surely leading man Andrew Yancy will make another appearance Due to an angry attack on his mistress s husband, he s been busted from policeman to restaurant inspector He s becoming quite thin as a result But he thinks an arm hooked by a tourist could be the case to get him back on the force.The appeal of Hiaasen to me is how he mixes the perverse and the moral, the high brow and the low brow, and other opposites to such great effect His protagonist have their flaws, but they re never anything on the villains And those greedy, violent schemers always get what s coming to them in the craziest ways The path to the comeuppance is labyrinthine, but easy to follow because the humor and subject matter lighten it up and keep the story moving Hiaasen makes me think of a Chuck Palahniuk who is less in love with his shock value and ever so slightlyoptimistic about the human condition.Getting back to the characters, I wasn t all that interested in the eponymous monkey at first His owner, I liked, but the monkey I wasn t so sure about But Hiaasen eventually changed my mind and I loved him by the end As for the women in the novel, I don t want to give too much away However, I loved that one of them did something I didn t expect at all It was a nice bit of redirection and sweet in a very illegal way.If you re not already a Hiaasen fan, here s your chance to become one This is his first adult novel since STAR ISLAND in 2010, which was fun but not his best I think BAD MONKEY stands up with his best novels I m not saying it s as good as SKIN TIGHT, but I think I d put it in the top five So read what the cool kids will have on the beach this summer BAD MONKEY


  6. says:

    A severed arm, a voodoo lady, and a detective on the roach patrol and, oh yes, a very bad monkeyI miss Skink.Skink, as you may be aware if you re a Carl Hiaasen fan, is the deranged ex Governor of Florida who now lives as a hermit in the Everglades and descends on environmental evil doers of all stripes to wreak justice upon their bodies and souls alike, never to be forgotten Skink is Justice personified Yet there s not a whiff of Skink oh, yes, you can smell him from far away in Hiaasen A severed arm, a voodoo lady, and a detective on the roach patrol and, oh yes, a very bad monkeyI miss Skink.Skink, as you may be aware if you re a Carl Hiaasen fan, is the deranged ex Governor of Florida who now lives as a hermit in the Everglades and descends on environmental evil doers of all stripes to wreak justice upon their bodies and souls alike, never to be forgotten Skink is Justice personified Yet there s not a whiff of Skink oh, yes, you can smell him from far away in Hiaasen s 17th novel for grown ups, Bad Monkey.Bad Monkey is a story of environmental crime in Florida only in passing More properly, it s a murder mystery and detective story Hiaasen s protagonist, Andrew Yancy, finds himself on the roach patrol, a restaurant health inspector, having been fired from the Miami PD the result of reporting his sergeant for corruption and then from the Monroe County Sheriff s Department the result of an inspired but indecorous outburst of sadism effected upon his lover s husband, unfortunately in public.Here s Hiaasen delicately referring to that incident Bonnie Witt, Yancy s future former girlfriend, was prepared to testify that he d assaulted her husband of fourteen years with a portable vacuum cleaner, specifically a tubular attachment designed for upholstery crevices Clifford Witt had required some specialized medical care but he wasor less ambulatory within a week Yancy, confined to the comforts of his lover and the bottle, suddenly finds himself the missing link of sorts to a gruesome incident at sea when the human arm in his freezer turns out not to be evidence of suicide but rather ofdrum roll, please murder.Don t ask how that arm got into Yancy s freezer You ll have to read the book to find out Suffice it to say that possession of the arm leads Yancy to make the acquaintance of a strikingly beautiful Cuban American Miami coroner named Dr Rosa Campesino, athan worthy substitute for his now ex lover, who turns out to be a fugitive from a felony count in Oklahoma Yancy and Rosa team up to find the truth that lies behind the ghastly artifact, only to become involved in another murder As the bodies pile up, the daring duo encounters the suspicious young widow of the armless deceased, his greedy estranged daughter, a Bahamian fisherman, a man eating voodoo lady, and assorted no goodniks and ne er do wells throughout the Florida Keys and the Bahamas, plus one very bad monkey named Driggs It s all a spectacular clusterf , and very funny Structured as a murder mystery, it s also full of suspense, brought on by a demonically clever plot.Hiaasen s view of officialdom in South Florida isn t bright The new sheriff of Monroe County, he writes, was a local bubba named Sonny Summers who won office because he was the only candidate not in federal custody, the two front runners having been locked up on unconnected racketeering charges eight days before the election Truth be told, the author s opinion of the assorted low life to be found on the beaches of the keys isn t much better Writing about a beach bum who d been bragging all over town about his 3,000 windfall from committing a felony, of course , Hiaasen opines, in the voice of the now deceased bum s girlfriend, Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein Yancy thought it was fortunate that the pair hadn t pooled their genes Previously I ve reviewed one of Carl Hiaasen s adult novels, Star Island, and one of the four he has written for young adults, Chomp However, I m a Hiaasen fan from way back, having earlier read a number of his other books as well, and Bad Monkey will keep me coming back foreven though Skink never showed his face in the book


  7. says:

    Andrew Yancey is a police detective for the Florida Keys police department When he accidentally assaults the woman he like s husband with a vacuum cleaner hose, he loses his badge and has to become a restaurant inspector He then finds out that someone accidentally reeled in a dead man s arm and that the police department he had worked at won t do anything about it Can he solve the murder of the arm or is there some monkey business going on Read on and find out for yourself.This was a pretty Andrew Yancey is a police detective for the Florida Keys police department When he accidentally assaults the woman he like s husband with a vacuum cleaner hose, he loses his badge and has to become a restaurant inspector He then finds out that someone accidentally reeled in a dead man s arm and that the police department he had worked at won t do anything about it Can he solve the murder of the arm or is there some monkey business going on Read on and find out for yourself.This was a pretty good and funny little murder mystery thriller as well as my first ever read by Carl Hiaasen Full of quirky characters, action, andthis book is perfect for fans of comedies and thrillers Definitely look for this book at your local library and wherever books are sold


  8. says:

    Police procedural crime, Floridian style.Solid, fun read.


  9. says:

    I don t think Hiaasen likes women very much Let s recap our cast of lovely ladies in this novel, shall we The VooDoo QueenShe ll take cash but prefers sexual favors in lieu of big hoodoo, mon Refusing her sexual advances will lead you to an early poison riddled death and her stoned monkey throw poo at you while holding a crack pipe in his other hand.Treacherous Gold Digging WifeHer husband is missing and only an arm is found, but it s okay She s got one heck of an insurance policy about to be I don t think Hiaasen likes women very much Let s recap our cast of lovely ladies in this novel, shall we The VooDoo QueenShe ll take cash but prefers sexual favors in lieu of big hoodoo, mon Refusing her sexual advances will lead you to an early poison riddled death and her stoned monkey throw poo at you while holding a crack pipe in his other hand.Treacherous Gold Digging WifeHer husband is missing and only an arm is found, but it s okay She s got one heck of an insurance policy about to be paid out and a hatchet in the dishwasher.Greedy DaughterEasily persuaded to drop the case for some hard green, this recovering junkie is just fine with her father s murder as long as she is a beneficiary.The Classroom PedophileOur main character s former mistress, married to a doctor who is preoccupied with the thrills of auto erotic asphyixiation, is a fugitive on the run for seducing her former English lit student.The MorticianOur protagonist s main squeeze gets a thrill out of gurney shaking sex in the frigid depths of the county morgue, right alongside the stiffs.There wasn t one redeeming female but some of the men were just fine.I m sure this book is for some people, but it just wasn t for me It was a painfully uncomfortable read for me


  10. says:

    4.5 StarsSearching for a book with a REAL cast of characters Well, look no further friends cause this one has them all an ex policeman turned roach patrol food inspector, a beauty of a medical examiner, a timid sheriff, an evil stepmother, her new boyfriend and a greedy stepdaughter to complete the trio, a Mary Kay Letourneau and her not so young boy toy, a beekeeper, a voodoo priestess, unsavory restaurateurs, grave robbers, part of a dead body and, dare I omit, one bad monkey.The s 4.5 StarsSearching for a book with a REAL cast of characters Well, look no further friends cause this one has them all an ex policeman turned roach patrol food inspector, a beauty of a medical examiner, a timid sheriff, an evil stepmother, her new boyfriend and a greedy stepdaughter to complete the trio, a Mary Kay Letourneau and her not so young boy toy, a beekeeper, a voodoo priestess, unsavory restaurateurs, grave robbers, part of a dead body and, dare I omit, one bad monkey.The story begins when a routine boating accident churns up nothing but the victim s arm Andrew Yancy Key West Detective demoted to food inspector is ordered by the local sheriff to babysit the arm in order to avoid unwanted publicity on the department However, when Yancy starts sniffing around, he begins to believe this accidental death really stinks and the smell only BEGINS with the shark bait he s been hiding in his freezer.Of all the books in all the gin joints in all the world that have become a series PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE let this be one I haven t had so much fun with a murder mystery in FOREVER After reading all of the hot new psychological thrillers that have been inundating the bookshelves, Bad Monkey was a refreshing change of pace So quick, so hilarious, so many characters And I did it all from the comfort of my Hoveround Scooter

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